Home > Beckie > I promise I’ll try – Love Mommie

I promise I’ll try – Love Mommie

The following is a poem called “A Plea to His Parents.” My mother cut it out of the newspaper when I was born.

“Give me more than food to nourish me. Give me the warmth and the security of your love. Give me plenty of things to look at, to feel, to smell, to listen to, to taste.  And even some things to break.

Teach me to take my turn. Watch me play so you can see how I am trying to work out my problems.

When you tell me to do something, please tell me why I should do it.

Don’t transfer your fears to me.  I have enough of my own to cope with and I don’t need more.

Help me not to act when I’m angry. But don’t make me so afraid of showing anger that I lose the capacity to feel strongly about anything.

Let me learn to bear pain, to want things but to be strong enough to postpone gratification of certain feelings I am not yet ready to experience.

Give me a little corner in the house that is all mine and nobody else’s.  I need moments of peace and quiet that cannot be invaded by anyone.

Give me my share of consideration and attention.

Be patient with me when I don’t do things very well at first.  Remember I have so many things to learn and almost everything takes some practice.

Let me bear the consequences for whatever I do.  I need to be punished as well as rewarded.

Above all, grant me unconditional love.  For if I know it is there, I will be able to give the same to my children – and they will be able to give it to theirs.” – Your Child

 

What a sweet poem.  Most of those suggestions are easy-smeasy (unconditional love), and even fun to be a participant with Sarah.  I love helping her learn, and watching her as she figures it out.  And I wish I could escape to her room sometimes.  She got the best corner of our house.  But, um, I’m going to have to really work on a few of the others.  The really big one that jumped out at me was “Don’t transfer your fears to me.  I have enough of my own to cope with and I don’t need more.”  Yeah.  Ok.

This was one of my biggest fears before I became pregnant.  I’m a worry-wart and I know it.  I was always anxious, and then I started losing friends in high school and college.  I knew I’d be really protective, and possibly, problematically over-protective of any child I would have.  I didn’t trust the world out there, and I didn’t want to bias my child to be afraid of the world.  I talked myself into relaxing about bad things that could happen.  That was my life, not my potential child’s.  Plus, Jim would be there to rein me in when I would get too crazy.  He was always good at that.  I actually remember the first time he told me to “take it one day at a time” our freshman year because my thought was, “Is this why he’s so calm?”

Now, I have to rein in myself.  Sure.  That’ll be easy.  Fortunately, I don’t think I’ve laid anything extra on her so far.  Ever since watching 8 yr.-olds playing football, she’s now scared of that.  So, no Super Bowl…  Unfortunately, she does have separation anxiety.  It should have ended around the age of two.  But, really, can you blame her?  A little after two, her daddy disappeared for two weeks and came back not feeling very good.  Then, at two and a half, she watched her daddy walk out the front door with a bunch of people and never come back.  (I still don’t know if I should have shielded her from that or not.)  I try to put her in enough situations so that she will know, and learn, that I always come back.  So far, she consistently has good and bad days, but she doesn’t consistently react the same when I leave her with someone she knows.  Ugh.  She’s young enough that she really isn’t away from me for very long, so my separation anxiety hasn’t kicked-in yet.  It’s just something I know I’m going to have to watch in the future.  And I will because while I want her to be safe, I don’t want introduce fears – nobody needs that.

Update to last week’s post:  Sunday school went well.  They liked my handouts.  But, we only got through a little over half the lesson.  I may have talked too much…

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